Transgender and Barney’s of New York

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I’m reading my Vanity Fair on my Kindle and there is an ad from Barney’s of New York that celebrates transgender people and those who support them.  I applaud Barney’s for supporting such a marginalized group of people.

Not many people understand transgender people, nor do they want to hang around them.  I have to say I’m in the former group and I don’t know anyone who is transgender with whom I could hang.  I know, strange to say that I don’t understand transgender people when I am a very out lesbian, but it’s the truth.  Am I supposed to lie?

Quite a few years ago – back when I had a semi-nice figure – I performed in a Drag Show.  I was put in a room with a man whom I assumed was gay.  He was in drag, so I probably shouldn’t have made the assumption, but I did.  Anyway, he helped me change during the show and I helped him and everything was fine until he mentioned that he was pre-op transgender and he was changing his sex to be a lesbian.  Well, he or I guess it’s been long enough, she probably never realized how freaked out by this that I was.  I was much younger then and not as secure in my skin as I am now.  Luckily, good manners won out over freaking out and we made it through the whole show.

But, I wish I had asked her why.  Why would you want to switch from male to female?  I was young, single and made very poor relationship choices – come to think of it, so did my straight, female friends – but, being a man and becoming a woman?  Why?  Men have it all.

I remember being a young girl and being told by some man at the Waukegan Park District that no, I couldn’t play baseball with the boys because I was a girl.  And, yes, they did follow the federal law because I could play softball with the other girls.  But, I didn’t want to play softball – softball is not the same as baseball, similar, but not the same.  I remember going round and round with this unnamed, grown up man and ultimately lost, because my mother didn’t support it.

To me, boys and, therefore, men had it easier.

So, why would someone who had it easy in life want to change?

I don’t know.

And, you know what – it isn’t for me to say.  Now, I wished I had asked the questions, to help me understand.  And, if I ran into her again, I would ask.  Still, it isn’t my business and it isn’t my place to judge.

Do you see what I’m getting at?

I don’t get it.  I don’t understand it.  And, I don’t have to do so.  What I do have to do is support, love thy neighbor, mind my own damn business and all will be right with the world.

That’s what any of us have to do.  For anything.

So, you go Barney’s of New York and you go people who agreed to out themselves as transgender and you especially go loving people who support them!  Good for you!  It gives me hope that there’s still some humanity left in the world.


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